I still can't read

the small print.

I tell the doctor that is fitting me with my first pair of glasses -reading glasses. Yes, I am getting old :(

Anyway, most of my family wears them, so it was not big surprise.

When I was picking frames I asked if there were any with skulls on them, the guy thought I was kidding and was not amused when I told him I was not.

They did not have any. So cute "librarian" black rimmed glasses for me.

So I am there in the office picking them up, and the big surprise was putting them on yesterday and looking at the small type and said,

"Is it supposed to be moving?"

"What is moving?" she says.

"The text, it is moving a little and it seems fuzzier than without the glasses."

She looks confused.

"Look over in the distance and then look at it again."

I turn my head and then turn back to the page and go "Whoa! I the world just got all wobbly."

"Oh, these are reading glasses, don't walk with them on. "

"I don't believe I could if I wanted to."

"Look back down at the page, does it look better?"

"No, still fuzzy, looks like there is a shadow behind all the letters, and the shadow appears to be dancing." (I think it might be the Barry Manilow Copacabana song coming through on Muzak, which by the way should never be played before noon.)

"Well, maybe your eyes need a chance to adjust. You can return them within 30 days" and then she proceeds to hand me a coupon for $75 off another pair. I am thinking why, would I want another pair of glasses that make it hard to read?

"But I have a pair of those cheap reading glasses (the ones the doctor told me to try) that are 1.25+ magnification and they work fine."

She looks at my chart and says "they shouldn't" and proceeds to tell me some technical information about my vision, which eye is +20 or - 1,000 - I don't know, made no sense to me.

I tell her that I don't understand what she just said.

She gives me more technical information, and I am thinking I did not know I needed to study Ophthalmology terms before this visit. I want to tell her that in the future, to avoid confusion, mention that to your patients when you set up the appointment.

Fine. I guess my other reading glasses are magic.

I really need (not want) to get back to work, so I grab the glasses and book out of the office.

As I stop to get some tea I think.....didn't I get glasses so that I could read the small print? Why did they not work when I put them on? Didn't I get glasses to "adjust" my vision? Why do my eyes have to adjust to my glasses?

Just another example of how I picked the wrong career. I would love to tell someone when I give them a marketing proposal that they don't like that they will "have to adjust to it." :)