Monday, September 28, 2009

I thought I knew the makings

of my worst nightmare. I was sure that it would involve a at least two to two-hundred spiders. Something like this (very creepy picture) - BTW - if this happened in my house...I would have to move. Don't click on it to make it bigger....don't do it. Seriously, don't!

Anyway, I was wrong, very, very wrong.

It only involved one.

A very, very evil spider that was put on the planet for one reason....to scare the crap out of me.

Saturday we were working on the yard and we needed to put the statuary up in the yard first so I could place all the tombstones. So, a few of us walk over to the "mourner" (shrouded figure with praying hands) and I decide where she goes, we pound a 5 foot piece of rebar into the ground and get ready to pick her up and attach her to keep her from blowing over.

While this is happening a see a medium sized spider with long legs crawling on the prop. I try to brush it off, but it crawls under the base and off to the opposite side of where I am standing.

No worries, the other people are over there and they all make fun of my spider phobia...so it should not bother them. It is an outdoor spider so I figure I will just live and let live.

Silly, silly frog queen.

This is one of our older statues and the body and the base are connected, we don't do that anymore for the reason you are about to hear.

We lift the whole 6 foot prop up in the air four feet to get her over the rebar and into a hole that runs through the base and then into the body. Well, she is not that heavy unless you are holding her over your head....then she is a b&tch and hard to maneuver because she is so top heavy. (Hence why we make the base and the statue separate on all our new props.)

Back to, it is hard to see the hole in the bottom of the base unless you are lying on your back on the grass underneath the prop.

Do you see where this is going?

So I bend down under the prop to get ready to lay on the grass, and all I see in my left eye are two legs. Yes, I said "in" my eye.

Not "out of the corner" or "I spied with my left eye".

No, in my eye, two spider legs IN MY EYE!
I cannot describe to you how that feels....cause there are no words for that, none.

I did not scream, because I could not scream, I think my brain was so freaked out, I actually abandoned my body there for a moment....It was like I was watching myself from a distance going..why am I not screaming?!?

Oh, cause I am over here and my body is over there. Wow, how did I do that?

All I can manage to say is "Ah, give me a moment."

The my friend Elyssa lays right on the ground and they get the mourner set in a few seconds.

I know I said something to them after that. But I cannot tell you what it was.

If we had not been sooooo busy setting up the yard, I would have fainted dead away there on the lawn. I will forever in my memory have that feeling of spider legs touching my eye....I will never be the same again.
By the way, I now hate the mourner monument...don't be suprised if she is not in the yard next year :D

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