Wednesday, September 17, 2008

I believe someone was channeling

Darren from "Slings & Arrows" at Artist Repertory Theater.

To be fair, I love theater and have seen some great plays and ART - just not last night To their defense it was the first night of previews.....maybe they will have this all worked out by opening night - I believe anything is possible. :)

Eurydice was ....bizarre. What where they thinking?!?!?!? I believe they decided against an intermission, because the theater would be empty if they gave anyone the chance for escape!

It was the biggest technical nightmare I have ever seen in a theater, ever. (And this particular theater has a few to choose from.)

Stretchy strings that people have to attach to themselves and sometimes to other strings. Square boxes (some with water) that have to be moved around the stage that the actors walk on. Paper cutouts that pop through paper walls. Projected, mimed and acted scenes (all at the same time.) A lighted space ship type thingy, that had a purpose I am sure, but I couldn't tell you.

I kid you not. A mess. It was hard to even pay attention to what was being said because my brain was trying to process what in the world was happening on stage.

It starts with Cirque de Soleil on a budget.
It is as bad as it sounds. Seriously, only about 3 feet off the ground and we are pretending we eyes rolled back in my head. If they would have only stayed there, I would have been spared the rest of the play.

Kill me now!!!
The death scene of Eurydice was a painful to watch, not because she died. Because it went on and on and on. Lots of stairs in a video, then a toy doll and some stairs......I get it; she died falling down the stairs. The snake version is shorter.

Oh no, he didn't just build a room out of stretchy string and some clips?!
Apparently dad needed to build a room, and in the process one of the strings....well, didn't have anywhere to attach. Probably because it was supposed to attach to a certain place on one of the moving squares, and the connector ended up on the wrong side! It took about 2 minutes to do this.....seriously, 2 minutes of string connecting! Because??

Crawling the ceiling.
Not only are we hanging things down from this trap door over head, but a poor bloke has to crawl back and forth and hang over the edge to give some dialogue, that might have been important, but again, I was too distracted - what exactly was on his head during the phone call scene?

We are all going down together.
Then, we tie some more of that stretchy string to both Eurydice and Orpheus feet and have them walk around on raised platform squares that we have to move around WHILE THEY ARE WALKING (someone is going to get hurt, and that is not entertaining.) Tell me one good reason for that? Honestly?

The cone of silence
Or maybe the cylinder of silence, or a space ship. I don't know, but if I Jeff would have built something that sloppy for our yard display (which is free, by the way, and this play was not) I would have had to...actually, Jeff would have never done that, for fear of death from the EAD. And, to make it worse. That particular prop is still on stage when the play is finished. Yes, after we are done applauding for the actors (and the fact that we get to go home!) we are still applauding because there are people on stage moving a prop out of the way so the cast can leave. I imagine it was another plot to keep us in the theater.

Water in a box
Remember those boxes that they were walking on, two of them had water in them. Yes, the tops had hinged doors that opened up and inside the unpainted plywood box, was some water. It was supposed to be "the river." Nothing is as attractive as two of your leads taking their bows in outfits that are wet from the waist down. (I am not saying that this is unacceptable all the time....I can see where...oh, I am getting distracted again.)

Usually the bubble machines are behind the DJ.
Oh, and what was up with the bubble machines? And the bubble machine for a water fountain. Okay, that is just ....oh, I should not have to say how ridiculous it was. The prop makers should have said, "I am NOT going to build one should build this!" Lawrence Welk bubble machine sound effects were an extra added bonus!

I bet the reviews come in and say it was the most "innovative" or something and we come to confirm that I have no idea what I am talking about (again.) I should stick to Halloween decorations I guess.

By the way, this was the first year that we donated to this theater! Holidazed will be brilliant and make up for the whole thing!!! Fingers crossed!


  1. This is why I can't be havin' with all this new-fangled play-actin'. 'S not nat'ral.
    Or any good, for that matter...

  2. U r not from arund these parts - r ye?

    Is makng u see Holidazed, yes u r!!! Got 2 git u cultur sum tem.


    Sorry, that sucked. :)


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