Saturday, April 14, 2012

Hey Dorie (part 2) ....

hi there, cute gray kitty,....ready to draw a winner for me?

"I am no longer speaking to you." - she says.


"You took me to the vet today."

Yeah, it was only to trim your claws.....they were scratching the hell out of my hands.....

"...silly human, you obviously do not understand the purpose of my claws."

Catching birds in the wild for food?

"....ha, ha, ha.....why am I talking to you?......GO AWAY or bring me canned food.  Preferably the latter.  Actually, both is better!"

Why did my blog friends pick you!?!?!?!

"Once are under this delusion that you have friends....if you did, it would be because, unlike you, they are smart, and probably good looking....hey, can you ask any of them if they need a cute sweet gray cat?"


"Why not?"

First of all you are far from "sweet" and would you not miss your brother?

"I am sooooo sweet!!....yeah, I that might be a hard sell, let's get back to far Mason as goes, bitch, please - that low IQ ball of fur...he barely knows his own might have missed this because he is (actually) sooooo nice....but he is as dumb as a box of rocks!"

To be honest....we did notice that, but don't tell him....

"Good to know, you are not as stupid as I thought you were....good and bad, because, if you know that, I imagine there is no chance of me convincing you to set me just turn the door knob...."

Wait a minute!!!  ....not a chance - you make have forgotten, but you are not the first cat I have had. I have learned a few things.

"....after living here for a few years....I would say, you have not learned as much as you think you have."

Really?  Are you sure of that?

"Really. And, yes, I am sure, bring it human captor."

I hate when you talk like that. If I would have known you would have been like this, I would have left you at the vets office.....

"That tone does not help."

This is silly, can you pick a winner?


Why not?

"I am a cat..... okay, if you want my help....get my ginormous "smart as a box of rocks"  brother out of MY bed ....and then we will talk."

Look, Mason is, like you said,  "ginormous"......I am not sure I can move him without getting a hernia.

"Once again, human captor....not my problem.......unless....will a "hernia" keep you from using the can opener?"


  1. Is that crazy bitch ever gonna pick a name?!
    I'm talking about Dorie, not the Frog Queen.

  2. Remember when she's sitting there *staring* at you, she's just waiting for you to die so she can feast upon your corpse.

  3. Chris,

    I saw this and thought of you.


    1. Sorry to get back to you so late. That link was awesome, thanks for thinking of me!!!



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