Monday, March 22, 2010

Last Wednesday was the scariest

day of the year for me.

It is my company's Annual Meeting.

The Annual Meeting for those of you lucky enough not to have any idea what I am talking about is a nightmare the involves, in my case:

Among the staff and shareholders, there are the Board of Directors, members of various committees, AVPs (assistant vice presidents), the VPs, the Senior VPs, those Chief "type people" Chief Communications Officer, Chief Information Officer...etc.

You know all the important people that could easily have me fired with the blink of an eye, in the event that any part of this event goes wrong :D

So everything has to be 1,000,000% perfect

I farm out the creation of the Annual that is just art directing, but the other documents and signage and stuff I have the pleasure of creating...and this year (due to budget cuts) I got to create a video presentation.

And as I said, that was not a fun project.

After all that, it was really hard to imagine that the whole ordeal could get worse...but it did.

I go to where the meeting is to get a run down on the A/V equipment that I would be running that night so I can test the presentation on the DVD player. It starts fine....and then part way into it....part of the sound cuts out! :0

The screaming in my head starts as I really cannot believe this is happening.

The person who runs the equipment has no idea and he is technically "off work" as of about 2 minutes he is outta there.

What the *&^% am I going to do. My boss is going to kill me.

So I do what I usually do when things fall apart. I call husband.

Being the smart man that he is he tries to walk me through a few things to see if we can figure out what is wrong, but the back of the cabinet is sealed so there is only so much I can access. He comes up with a very logical

Plan B

He is going to burn another copy of the DVD in another format and see if that is the problem.

While he is doing that....I work on

Plan C

what do I do if this new disk does not work?

I ask the person setting up the room if I they have a projector screen....he says yes, good.

I call our IT department and see if I can borrow the portable projector and a laptop with a DVD player....just in case. That way I can just play it on que, not the best solution, but it is better than nothing.

IT informs me that the projector has gone missing....and all the laptops are in use.

Seriously? The presentation gods are pissed at me today!!

Instead of crying or screaming...which both seemed like perfectly logical things to do at the moment....I come up with....

Plan D

There must be a liquor store around.....I need to just get a bottle of Vodka and I will text my resignation letter to my boss....only thing left to do. After the laughter in my head dies down, and reality shift back into place and I come up with

Plan E (and think, one of these has to work....I am running out of alphabet)

I call husband, who is already working on Plan C and tell him of Plan E

At this point he knows that Plan D - exists.....but he doesn't want to know what craziness is going on in my head.

Plan E

Go out in the shop dig through the Halloween stuff we just put away, bring one of our projectors and a DVD player, and an amp and speakers.

I know that the only reason he did not go "WTF?" was because he knew how I stressed I was at the moment. He agrees to Plan E, because he knows that it is just easier. (I know, he is too good for me....really I do.)

To really prove how great he is.....he has to drive to my work at about 3:30 in the afternoon. This is something that no one would do voluntarily. It really is madness....

You see, all those people that live in Vancouver (where I work) and work in Portland (where I live) are heading home...the same way he has to drive. It turns a 30 minute trip into well over an hour or two.

I know I owe him...for the rest of my life at this point.

About now, boss shows up. I explain what is happening and how I have a plan(s) (I did leave out Plan D for obvious reasons)....boss is not happy, but there is nothing to be done right now, we will play it by ear.

So, husband arrives, new disk in hand, to save the day.

Nope, still does not work!

*&^%!!! You have got to be *&#$ kidding me!!!!

He asks some questions of the janitor about where the actual controls for the equipment are located..... it appears it is in some magical room that only special wizards can open.

One last look....he pulls out the DVD player and notices the the audio cable is, well actually the wrong type of cable, so he improvised and moves it around an viola! it suddenly works!

He is my hero.

Only 358 days until I have to do this all again :D Man, I am looking forward to Halloween!


  1. I would have stuck with plan D myself, and for the fact that everything worked, I would NOW implement plan D anyhow, along with plan T, for tequila.

    Oh heck, I'm going to implement plan T and D in your behalf anyhow! Whoo hoo!

  2. Ooooh maaaan, you just caused me a whole bunch of truly ugly flashbacks, my bloodpressure started rising just reading it, and by the time I was through, I needed to go get my bite splint. (plus a nice soothing Baileys)
    I am SO happy that I don't have to deal with things like that anymore!
    You have my deepest sympathies and added respect! lol

  3. I am just counting my blessing and lucky stars...contented sigh.

    I now carry a small emergency bottle in the trunk of my car just in case. You never know when an annual meeting may strike...oh wait...yeah um...nevermind that bit.

    Despite all of my random babblings, I do agree with Mr. Macabre's plans!

  4. Thank the gods that something worked - I'd have left a sticky note saying "I quit" and driven straight to a bar.

    I loathe this time of year too. I just sent my year end books off to the accountant, but now the boss will grill me for weeks about every expense on the income statement. Ugh!

  5. You need to be earning more than those jokers you say can fire you. Seriously. And an annual retainer for hubby.

    Power to the people. The little people.

  6. I feel your pain but your re-telling was hilarious!! I read it outloud to my co-workers, which were dying laughing.

    Kiddo's to the hubby for the solution and bigger kiddo's to you for not totally going postal!

  7. This is why you should have just showed up drunk. Best to be prepared ;)

  8. Drunk would have solved a lot of problems....good to know of next year!!! :D


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