Friday, July 31, 2009

Can I borrow a skeleton?

Not an unreasonable request, around Halloween, friends and co-workers want to borrow things from us for their own parties and stuff, if I can lend it, by all yourself.

Like I said, it October. Not usually in June. No, not much call for skeletons or corpses in June...normally. But as I have pointed out, most of my friends are not normal. Here is what happened a few years back.

Friend calls, "Hi Frog Queen, hey, can I borrow one of your corpses or a skeleton in about two weeks?"

Frog Queen "Sure, no problem, I can bring it over."

Now, in my head I am thinking, hum, I know your wife and I are working on a garden tour fundraiser for our neighborhood school....and I believe the tour is in about, yeah, two weeks exactly...hum.....he has a wicked (and I might add, very funny) sense of humor....and she....does kind of...anyway, the warning bells go off.

I mean she is my friend too....and I want to see if I can make sure they are both talking to me after all this is done. :)

So I have to ask. "Friend, what are you doing with this corpse?"

"Well you see, we excavated by the garage to re-pour the foundation and that is not going to get finished before the tour. So I was thinking I would just put a corpse in there, like we found a dead body while we were digging."

Smiling I say, "Of course, what a great idea."

While I am laughing (and think, man, I am a bad influence on my friends) my head I am remembering past garden tours with blue haired old ladies (likely gardeners themselves) in straw hats with big flowers and long summer dresses walking through the gardens holding their lovely walking tour maps with pretty flowers and butterflies on them, thinking happy "gardeny" thoughts.

A hole in the ground with a corpse, although HYSTERICAL to me, might not be what she wants in her yard while she is giving the tour.

Again, I have to ask, for the sake of our friendships "Does she know what you are planning to do with this corpse?"

"She sure does, she shook her head at me, but said I could do it."

I reply "Sweeeet! Well then, you know what would be even better? I have some of that "crime scene tape" you should stake it around the dig site, you know for safety reasons. Let me go dig (pun intended) it out and I will bring them both right over"



  1. Wicked, wicked Frog Queen! Genius...

  2. Amazing, hilarious, and brilliant.

    I actually chuckled to myself. :)

  3. I want pictures of this. That is just an incredible idea. =)

  4. Magnifique et tordu! This is wicked for sure and a pretty good idea too!

  5. Very Rad, Super Hilarious! I would love to see the expressions of the other gardeners!

  6. I'd love to be a fly on the wall in that garage! Too funny!

  7. Now that is just too cool! Yes, definitely my kind of people! (My Hubby is still rolling on the floor with laughter, thinking about the reaction of all those ol' blue haired women!) :0)


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